OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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