Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Come share oat with me in your robe
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize