i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you still have your period?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
