I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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