You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
