You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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