It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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