My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is Oprah even human
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
