I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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