Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
