Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
