Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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