Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
