Just fell off a train. Bad.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
