I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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