I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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