why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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