Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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