I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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