can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
