I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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