It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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