I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize