the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
