Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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