We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
