In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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