All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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