she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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