So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
