super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
