yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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