I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
