$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
