And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
