OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
