we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish you could order shots online.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
