Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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