The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
