This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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