I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
