He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize