omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
