Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The Olympian is in my bed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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