She just used a chaser for red wine.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
