..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
