I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
