No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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