Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
