So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
