Christians are straight up FREAKS
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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