could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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