Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
