I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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