Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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