She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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