new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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