PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
