Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
