Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
