i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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