Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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