I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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