Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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