my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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