What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That was before I lit my hair on fire
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
