He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize