D3 body, D1 cock
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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