I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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