I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize