Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize