Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pants are for mortals
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
