I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
